SNCC Sunday XI v Trinity Something or Other – the Final Encounter

And so it came to pass. Another glorious sunny Sunday afternoon and our team of mostly bedraggled, hungover and generally ill-prepared reprobates turned up for some more fun in the sun.

Billy “El Jefe” Saunders went out into the middle and tossed the coin for the Oppo’s captain to call and then bloody landed it on the wrong side….another toss lost. With no enthusiasm whatsoever South took to the field. Thankfully it was only 28 degrees and not the 30 degrees that had been forecast and I am sure we were all grateful for that 2 degrees of respite…..

Trinity Something or Other had turned up with their usual collection of bloody decent cricketers (who haven’t even started shaving yet), most of which seem to be left-handed, and a couple of old codgers. We had our very own non-shaving youngsters in the Campbell Brothers and they opened our bowling expertly. It’s always great to see our trusty 14 year old bamboozle batsmen with a great display of low, fast bowling and Kyle duly delivered the first of his 3 wickets after only 24 runs.

Yours truly came into the attack to ensure that the scoreboard kept ticking along nicely for Trinity Something or Other with Gibbo nicely shoring up the other end. The 2nd wicket fell after just another 65 runs and the tone was set. They were really annoyingly good, especially that leftie Gigantor, and with a couple of exceptions each partnership added good runs before falling.

BDB reverted to type and dropped a catch. Glenn dropped one too, or was it two too? Kyle decided to kick one instead of catch it and Billy “couldn’t win a toss if his life depended on it” Saunders decided that his gloves were over-rated and he’d rather use his legs behind the stumps.

Unfortunately one of their codgers came in to umpire and denied Damo what would have been the wicket of the day, when he bowled a devilish full toss which Gigantor didn’t quite connect with and Gibbo made what would have been the second best catch of the day, only for Old Codger to belatedly call it a no-ball for height. Gigantor, all 8 feet of him, had taken the ball just above his knees. Yes, had Damo been batting it would have gone over his head, but this was Gigantor. Anyway, Gigantor then proceeded to twat Damo around for another 30 runs!

BDB managed to get the key wicket of Gigantor, only for him to be replaced by another left hander, and then another, and then another. They should have their own league, left handers, they’re a pain in the arse. Shuby “even he doesn’t know how to pronounce his own name” Ghotra managed to stay awake long enough to take a wicket, Kyle ended up with 3 and Glen and Damo had a piece of the wicket action too. But it was all in vain, 338 bloody runs. Three hundred and bloody thirty eight. Still, could have been worse….

Knackered, bloodied, hot and sweaty we had a great tea courtesy of Emma. It must have been good, there were an awful lot of non-cricketers in the clubhouse with empty plates in front of them before we’d had a chance to go back for seconds.

Trinity Something or Other told us their bowling attack wouldn’t be all that. That’s what they said anyway…..

Lewy, Shuby and BDB all went for, er, very little. At one stage, encouraged by same very loud and supportive laughing from the sidelines, South were 5 for 3. And when I say “at one stage” what I actually mean is “after one over”. Chuckie had the longest non-striking innings ever, he was out there for about an hour with wickets dropping all around him and managed to amass 9 off 11 before falling. We were all pretty disconsolate and thinking we were all in for an early shower.

Of course all of the mickey-taking from our supporters was very helpful, especially after toiling in the field for 3 hours in that heat, and we all felt very encouraged. But cometh the hour, cometh the man, and up stepped the man, the legend, the myth….it was Damo-time.

Damo’s innings built and built and built. He was bowled quite early on by a no ball which remarkably our umpire managed to spot. Really nice guy John the Umpire, and it’s really generous of him to stand out there for hour after hour, but some of his decisions were a little BDB-like. Dylan was run out by about 6 feet but thankfully it was too marginal for John to call. Every time there was a no ball he seemed to signal the batsman rather than the scorers, and I’m not sure he ever called a no ball for height even with Charlotte frantically signalling from Square, but it all added to the tension.

One 4, then another, then another, then another. Damo was just taking care of business. For a change the supporters started to actually support and more than that they started to believe. Until the required rate got to about 15 an over I think there was some belief, although it was very hushed. Supported ably by Dylan, the man mountain Hutchinson cruised to his first EVER ton in just 90-odd balls with 21 fours. 21!!!! Extraordinary. Once he reached the magic ton though the adrenaline subsided, he was exhausted, and his wicket toppled very soon after.

While Damo was doing his thing Dylan was just going about his work at the other end, quietly, thoughtfully and with a maturity belying his years he ran up a tidy score, very much under the radar. After Damo’s exhausted demise the rest of the team tried valiantly to help Dylan get to his first ever 50. Well Glenn didn’t, he was useless, but Billy “what do you mean I’m not a team player” Saunders hogged the strike nicely for 4 or 5 overs. Maybe he thought Dylan could somehow get his 50 without facing a ball. Anyway, the Colonel was soon skittled and with only Stevie G left and Kyle not batting due to his early footballing injury Dylan’s wicket fell at an agonisingly short 48.

Boys, we were magnificent yesterday. The fielding was really tough in those conditions and against that batting line-up, and to only fall short of such a huge target, against THAT side, by less than hundred after being 5 for 3, was brilliant. I for one left without that feeling of loss and I hope most of the rest of you did too.

Their captain said at the end that he would email Billy about a fixture next year. He can do one. I’ll be busy that day.

Football’s coming home xx