Match Report - Sunday XI v Warlingham (28th April)
By Courtenay Mills
by Kyle Campbell
It was the first official Sunday friendly game and everyone was ready and raring to go...well almost. We had Mark “guess how much this bat cost me?” Pereira with his multitude of bats, ranging from £1 - £4 but no shoes to go with them. Also we had a man on debut Harry “I’ve been working on a new magic trick” Blaine that would explain the real reason for his need of a late arrival. And Muhammad “how many players you got? 11? OK that’s fine I’ll play” Fayyaz.
Anyway, we had finally finished the pre-match preparation and it was time for the tossers to do the toss. Luckily we lost the toss and the tossers came back and told us we were batting first.
So out went Courtenay “get me in the team Jim” Mills and Muhammad “time to show David Bowen I ain’t no pushover” Fayyaz to hopefully get us off to a good start for the game and season. As Fazzy knocked a 2 to get off the mark with a face of pure will to succeed and the words DETERMINED tattooed in the grains of the willow he wields and as he screeches NO MERCY AT THE TOP OF HIS... oh wait... he’s getting changed.
So with the danger man Fazzy our for 5 caught by slip, it was time for Leighton “ooo I like this bat, nah it’s not for me, ooo I like this bat, nah it’s not for me, ooo I like this bat, nah it’s not for me” Jones to show off the bat he bought in the off season, which he says, and I quote “ooo I like this bat.”
He got off to a promising start with Courtenay motoring along trying to impress Jim by finding 2nd gear. Then all of a sudden, as the 2 were looking 20 years younger between the wicket, Leighton was bowled for 17.
Now in comes Mark, reunited with his shoes, promising he’ll never forget them again. Mark was looking to continue from where Leighton left off and was doing well with Courtenay until he was dismissed for 19.
Then with no one managing to stick around with Courtenay we started to lose our way a bit after what was a very good start. With Dylan “wow I can’t believe no ones noticed my high tech, brand new black elastic bands” Campbell and Billy “hold my beer” Saunders departing for few.
With not much batting left to offer and Courtenay’s years starting to catch up to him, in comes the majestical Farhan “I don’t do no singles” Ali to the crease. Courtenay quickly loses the will to carry on and gets bowled for a delightful 80 and walks off with his chest puffed out and head flared like a proudly disabled peacock.
We had 22 overs left and very little batting to offer, so we thought, as Harry Blaine makes a magical appearance after 2 quick dismissals. As he takes middle guard, like a boss, and plays a couple of classy blocks to solidify his place in any team he wants......... bowled.
But don’t worry, In come the infamous duo Wills “dad, dad, dad, dad, dad ,dad, dad dad, dad ,dad ,dad To be continued” Jones and Joe “wait, we have an adult team? Sign me up” Quevedo to bat, and bat they did. With a mixture of power hitting, accidental finessing and a few close calls we can proudly say they were p!ssing the opposition team off nicely by taunting them with their youth advantages. But eventually the fun came to a close with Wills’ cameo being ended, as well as the innings, on 20 and Joe “wait, there’s 2 adult teams? Sign me up” finishing on 9 not out. It was a joy to watch, well done.
SNCC INNINGS ENDED: 186/10
Special thanks to Emma for the tea, as usual everyone enjoyed it and if they didn’t, they’re wrong.
It was the start of the SNCC fielding innings and the players beginning to hobble onto the field for what was going to be a very close game. Opening from the downhill end was the superior half of the cricketing gene Robin “are you proud of me dad?” Paulett. And the uphill end Harry “time to whip out a spell of DAMN GOOD BOWLING” Houdini.
We got off to a very tidy start and the game looked to be leaning to one side of the scale and the fielders were losing interest. Wills was wondering, Joe was cloud watching, I was rubbing my shins profusely, Courtenay was reviewing his 80 runs and praising himself quietly, Billy was mumbling a shopping list that consisted of tequila and tortillas the rest was unintelligible due to rapid foaming of the mouth, Farhan was watching Dylan swoop in from the boundary to pick the ball up from in between his legs, Mark was finding a new tooth and Leighton was having his name legally changed to dad. Things didn’t change much from overs 10-20 either. This time it’s Joe from the downhill and Wills from the uphill. The bowling remained tidy and runs stayed dry and according to Billy, Leighton is on 21,367 dropped catches for the season so far.
At drinks the score is 70 odd for 2. The two wickets were taken by Harry LBW and Robin caught by the newly found ‘juggler’ Dylan.
With a helpful tip from one of the opposition teammates who brought out drinks saying that they usually pick up the pace in the second half, we were on high alert. It was I, Kyle “don’t worry I’m just on my period” Campbell to carry on from the downhill end. I then proceed to awaken Courtenay out from behind the stumps and miraculously cause a stumping. And from the uphill came on Farhan.
After a couple of loose overs from my end, on came Dylan “the flat footed bullet train” to hopefully pick up a wicket or 2, and so he did. With earlier shouts coming, not from the bowler, but from Joe fielding at deep backwards point, i feel that Joe's threatening appeal made John think twice about turning the next LBW down, and so he was. The next wicket to come is the easiest caught and bowled of Dylan’s career.
Next from the uphill end came Billy “the most talented cha cha dancer I’ve ever seen bowl” Saunders. And just for Billy’s sake I have some familiar lyrics that he can bowl to the rhythm of, da da da daa daaa da da da daa daaa d d d d d d daaa RREEEBBBAAA. As the batsman picked up the rate dramatically since the first half and the game was drawing to a close. We put on all the stops to try and claw the game back in our favour by bringing back Harry from the uphill end and Mark coming downhill. We were unable to save ourselves and suffered an agonisingly close defeat with balls remaining dipping into the single figures and the thirst for the end of game beers rising. It is sad to lose the first game of the season but it was a great effort by all.
Final thanks to Billy for selecting me to play it was great fun, as usual, hope the report was at least average and good luck next Sunday.