Promotion!!! Match Report v Headley Old Freemans (01/09/2018) by Ashley Mills

A few stats to consider before the game:

• We beat HOF at home in June in a relatively low scoring affair dominated by Simon’s 78 runs and four wickets for Kyle (the 12th man on the day)
• Our line up did not contain any on the players that have played this season for the 2s and then promoted to the 1s (Fazzy, Mark, Bails) as the 1s had an outside squeak of the title
• We were not in great form having lost four of the five previous games
• Our catching in the previous game was so bad that it was deemed necessary to have an earlier meet time in order to wake up a bit before the toss

So, the team selected after furious negotiation with Jack, a couple of injuries and some noble withdrawals for the good of the team was:-

Anthony
Ash
Courtenay
Damo
Dave B
Dylan
Hanif
Jim (c)
Jordan
Matt (w/k)
Simon (v/c)
12th man Kyle

Friday night and Saturday morning were dominated by the ongoing saga of who was going to collect Hanif on the way through to the ground. In normal circumstances, I would collect Hanif on my way in from Mid Sussex. I don’t know where he lives but I meet him here and have a cheeky bit of fried food whilst waiting for the great man.

As the game was more important than usual, I was toying with the idea of getting the train so as to ensure greater nutrition and to allow post match celebration should we win. The decision was reached when I saw the last three reviews for Mr Chips:-

Rob Hattan
3 reviews
a month ago
The owner treats his staff like slaves! He is nothing short of a dictator!!! I was greeted by him bullying a little girl that didn't look old enough to be working there! …More

Osman Ali
3 reviews
21 hours ago
Ordered a 1/2 pounder got what looks like 2 deep fried pieces of meat in a bun. No cheese no sauce no salad. Terrible accuse for a burger. Was promised a can of drink. Received a carton of orange juice. NEVER AGAIN!

Howard Walker
2 reviews · 2 photos
3 months ago
1 star because can't do "0" stars. Positively the worst cod & chips ever tasted. Chips looked and tasted like soggy anemic potato cooked in who knows what. When the cod unwrapped oil was dripping all over the place and the batter, cant think of what it tasted like, but it was terrible. Threw the chips away, scrapped the fish off the batter and just ate the fish. If this is the best in Crawley (as couple reviewers said), then I wont bother trying anymore

Didn’t Osman Ali run the caff in Eastenders for years? Probably just badmouthing the competition. Why would he not say “sorry this is orange juice, not a can of pop” at the time of purchase? I read Howard’s other review. He is an illiterate moron, but there is no smoke without fire I guess.

Anyway, I took the train and arranged to meet Courtenay in McDonalds in Redhill for a low fat, high protein meal. During the journey, the who gets Hanif changed from possibly Damo, to Jim, to his wife going to drive him, to the car has broken down but he would somehow get to McDonalds to then suddenly he would be at a random postcode in Redhill.

When Hanif showed up, his lack of kit bag and presence of a small child caused me concern, but we got there in the end and got to the ground shortly before kick off. It emerged that Jim had lost the toss and we had been asked to bat on what looked like a decent track, judging mostly by the fact that we were not at Holmbury St Mary.

Looking at the opposition warming up, it was apparent that they had resisted the urge to draft in the bulk of their first team. This judgement was made as there were a couple of kids and some hefty waistlines.

After a rousing address from a pumped up vice captain, Matt and Simon opened the innings against a couple of bowlers who were accurate if not quick. The first three overs were steady until Matt was given out in his customary fashion, bringing together 100 years of experience with the captain joining Simon at the crease.

Jim edged their medium paced youngster and was well caught at the wicket by a keeper that was better than most on the circuit. Ash joined Simon and the scoreboard ticked over steadily after Ash stupidly went back to their decent spinner and played across a straight one.

After I told Anthony that the spinner was accurate without really turning any, he proceeded to turn a beauty sharply through Anthony’s gate first ball to bowl him with a beauty.

The dressing room was a scene of panic with two semi-naked beauties scrambling to get their kit on, with Courtenay beating Damo to get ready first and went out to join Simon. I am not sure whether this was within 2 minutes of the previous ball, but the Headleyans were a decent bunch and no fuss was made (I don’t really understand why other teams don’t like them?)

Courts with 21 overs still to bat, played an uncustomary defensive role until he looked to be bowled by a decent one, though he tells me he was at fault with his hand movement. So things were looking pretty bleak at something very close to 50-5. If I am honest, I sent a text to my Mrs saying to hurry up in getting to the ground as it would be over by 5pm.

I have never been happier to be wrong.

After blocking one ball to get his eye in, Damo took the attack to HOF without playing unorthodox shots. The power of his on drives was staggering, and within three overs of the partnership, the score was up in the 80s and the atmosphere changed. Simon was freed of pressure by the increased run rate and the pair simply put away almost all of the bad balls without taking many risks.

The HOF captain tried to buy a few overs from the lesser bowlers and hold back a few overs from the decent offie and the sporadically dangerous leggie. Each one over spell got progressively more expensive until HOF were forced to put Steve Barton (the offie) back into the attack.

Having spent the whole partnership umpiring with Jim, it was unusual, but great to see our batsmen use their loaf and be careful with the dangerman bowling and dominate the lesser bowlers. Apart from an incredible effort from their wacky-haired fielder to catch Damo at a deepish cover, the hundred plus stand was chanceless (approximately 130 from 125 balls).

Damo’s shot was consistently powerful, with the less handsome of the two umpires nearly ‘doing a Hogan’. Simon showed a cool head and only played the one false shot that I can remember, which if he had connected, would have landed in top Nutfield.

Credit to HOF in that they didn’t lose their heads, their spirit or their sportsmanship as the game changed from one where they most have been 90% plus favourites into a true contest as the score raced on. Such was the level on control that Si and Damo had, it was a surprise when Damo nicked a beautiful late outswinger to the keeper for a game changing 48. Whilst I am very grateful for Penny for scoring, I am not sure that the stats are right as the majority of our batsmen scored at exactly a run a ball. My perception was that Damo scored at a faster rate than that and he seems sure he got 50. Regardless, when he departed, we were on par with a decent total with maybe 8 overs left (ish).

In next was Jordy. Last time I saw him he was flame haired, skinny, pale and not great at IT. Nothing has changed except the size of him. I heard a rumour he’s been at the gym but I wasn’t prepared for the difference. One of the spectators, who will remain nameless, but is definitely not a vicar, suggested that steroids had been invested in, but such rumour and tittle-tattle could wait until after the game. Jordy smashed his first couple of balls, one of which went to the boundary, but was a bit unlucky to play on shortly afterwards.

In came Hanif whose favoured shot from ball one was the hoick to mixed effect. Since Damo had gone, Simon had increased the urgency and started taking the attack to the bowlers. With good use of the feet he hit 3 sixes and plenty of fours. He got to a tremendous and well deserved 100 to a good reception from a crowd that was larger and more female than usual.

Shortly after getting his ton, Simon advanced to their opening bowler who followed him with a decent Yorker which Si dug out, edging it into his boot and the keeper threw down the stumps with a bit of quick thinking. I was umpiring, and it may have technically been a caught behind off the boot but it is largely irrelevant. Great knock, must have been the best innings of the season and gave us a chance to post a defendable total (maybe Jan’s 91no falls into that category though was far more turgid I understand).

With three or so overs to go, Hanif and Dylan scored a few quick runs, mostly via overthrows until both of them fell to the youngster, and marvellously named Bobby Barton. Dave Bowen made the number eleven position his own with a mixture of sensible defence and some elegant but powerful hitting. Credit to the last three batsmen for using up the full allocation of overs in posting a decent total of 247.

HOF didn’t help themselves by bowling 21 wides and 3 no balls, the vast majority of them gleefully awarded by Jim.

Tea was taken with South’s players feeling a lot more positive then after the first hour, though the bowling and fielding would have to improve from recent games (Damo and Gibbo’s wonderspells against Beddington excluded). The sandwiches were the largest in living memory but were awesome.

Churchillian speeches followed from an emotional VC and skipper as Courts padded up with Kyle subbed for Matt who had to catch a flight. We started with the ever reliable Hanif bowling up the hill and Jordy bowling down. Jordy and Frances’ new pair of chihauhaus barked their approval, both looking amusingly like their new master.

A few poor balls were punished in the first couple of overs, then both openers steadied into rhythm and bowled steady spells. The opener with aforementioned wild hair was getting into his stride striking the ball well, until he launched into a drive off Hanif which was spectacularly caught one handed by Dylan in the covered after either mistiming his jump or merely jumping downwards.

Their skipper, the aggressive opener with the Battenberg batting gloves looked capable of putting a big dent into the deficit until Jordy beat him in the flight and bowled him with what appeared to be a great ball from the boundary at cow corner.

The next 45 mins / one hour was good, toughly fought cricket from both teams. Steve Barton at 3 looked to be a good player and the right hander at 4 was solid if a little more limited in range of shots. The opening bowlers were solid, and the replacements of Dylan and Damo kept things pretty tight but the two batsmen were not overly troubled and build a good partnership. At drinks, the score was 115-2 off 20 overs, a good platform to build from for HOF but both teams knew that risks would have to be taken if the scoring rate of 7 an hour to win was going to be reduced.

Everyone fielded well, I can’t remember a drop of a significant misfield. The closest Simon’s cap got to a good kicking was an overthrow after a sharp bit of fielding from Dylan. The game had a very 50:50 feel to it, though the team with the runs on the board is always the favourite in these circumstances.

This was the key period to the game. Simon replaced Damo at the top end and for a couple of overs after drinks, HOF accumulated nicely. Their number 4 tried to hit Simon back over his head and mistimed it such that it dropped nicely into the always reliable hands of Damo at a deepish mid on (or something like that, I can’t quite remember that one)

In the next over, the screw was turned by a high-quality over from Dylan. Both the new batsmen at 5 and 6 took a very aggressive stance and tried big shots early door, only for the elder Campbell brother to hit the top of each of their middle stumps. Advantage SNCC, but game far from over, as Barton Sr now had his 50 and was hitting the ball well.

It doesn’t really do either team justice to say that from this point, the run rate was too high for their one batsman to do it all on his own, and a mixture of tight bowling, good ground fielding and solid catching meant that the remaining wickets fell one every few overs as we gradually dominated.

Damo got the key wicket when Steve had got to 85, and another wicket as the lower order had no choice but to play aggressive, lofted shots.
At the start of Dave’s spell, we were favourites but a big over or two would put Headley back in the frame. I had never seen BDB bowl apart from when he hit me in the knackers in the nets. Figures of 3-10 from three overs don’t do his spell justice. Dave bowled every ball on line and length meaning HOF’s batsman had to try and hit across the line, hence his three wickets all being bowled.

Great game, and credit once again to HOF for their sportsmanship and their best wishes. Credit to our lads for showing the fight necessary to eventually grind a good score from a precarious start and then working hard and as a team in the field to get the result that we deserved after a great season.

It is a pleasure to have seen many youngsters develop into good cricketers, and it will be a good test in Division 2 next year. There are too many players that have contributed to a successful and enjoyable season to individually namecheck, but thanks from all of us to Jim for all the work he has put in to the season once again. Long reign JP.

Simon tells me next season will be his last. I will be nagging him to keep extending that as his influence with his spirit and performances have been instrumental many of our wins, not least Headley and Tadworth in the games I have played.

Given how tight the league was, there are many of you that have put in individual performances that have resulted in the points that have taken us over the line. A couple of Skarbek innings fit this mould, so do key spells from both Campbells, the bowling of Damo and Michael in the Beddington game, Matt has had some key knocks, Hanif’s economy has been consistent and many, many others. Apologies if I have missed out any highlights of any of you, I only played for the 2s in the latter half of the season and I do drink too much.

It was a fine evening that followed with the outpouring of a lot of lager and a whole bunch of emotion. It is a sign of the measure of the club these days that the manlove is not just within our team but also with the guys in the 1s, as evidenced by Jack and Chris dowsing Jim and Simon superbowl-style as the evening progressed. Good fun, good curry and company and a fine way to finish off the season.

Well done all of you, you should be proud. Thanks for all your help with the umpiring John, I had that awful “One moment in time” song ringing in my head when Dave polished off their tail. I will sue next year!